My Hatred For 3D Movies Knows No Bounds.

I’ve written before about my loathing of 3D movies, and I don’t want to belabor the point.  But this sort of thing really has to stop:

Getting excited to see the Joss Whedon/Drew Goddard horror collaboration The Cabin In The Woods? Here’s the bad news: Its release date has been pushed from February 2010 to January 2011… because so many people want to see it. Whuh?

The reason given by studio MGM for the release date shift is because advance tracking for the movie has been so positive that they’re going to convert the Goddard-directed, Whedon co-written movie into 3D.

This makes absolutely no sense.  A Cabin in the Woods is a quirky, small-budget horror movie, made by a cultish writer/producer and with two middle-aged character actors (Bradley Whitford and Richard Jenkins) as the leads.  This isn’t Final Destination or My Bloody Valentine.  This film was in perfect position to make a decent amount of money, earn some critical acclaim, and be very appreciated by a relatively small group of people.

Now, MGM is going to spend a lot of money converting the film to 3D.  The marketing for it is going to be ramped way up.  And considering that 3D horror movies so far have been straight-up torture porn (based on the success of FD, MBV, and Scar3D, the seventh Saw movie and the third Ring movie may both come out in 3D), when Cabin comes out all the Hostel-loving torture-porn freaks out there are going to go see it and wonder why nobody’s jaw gets ripped open by a bear trap.  It’ll make some money, but less than its grossly over-inflated budget, and be considered yet another flop in the Whedon canon.

Hollywood: you’re out of control.  Your obsession with 3D is ruining movies.  Stop.